LOSS

LOSS!!! A small word. It's meaning brings about different emotions for each individual  . I   have placed an enclosure link with 'Websters' Dictionary' definition   of LOSS. I will refer to it  shortly. I have had a few losses in my life. (OK.  - more than a few)    Again, we are all individuals. Ones' perception and experiences of loss  are unique and personal.  There is absolutely no way to categorize loss . Of course there is a difference between losing ones gloves and losing a loved one. I am speaking here more on losses of a life-altering nature. To be clear.  I could spend hours ranting about my personal losses , I shall not do any ranting. In lieu of the initial reason for my blog, I did lose my vision in 1998. I am 'considered' legally blind. Legally blind is included in the definition of blindness. At this juncture, one may presume that losing vision is my greatest loss. You would be incorrect. It has definitely.   been a BIG loss.     The loss of my vision led to many more losses by consequence......   My nursing career,  my ability to drive a car, and independence . Over the years I have had to learn relearn ,adapt and re adapt frequently.This was not always an easy task. Sometimes overwhelming! I then incurred a stroke in 2006. I had need to use a walker for almost a year. I had to relearn to speak as everything I said was a jumbled mess.I am left with a bit of a slur when I speak now (which gets worse when I am tired)   I also must pause frequently while speaking to formulate the words. Sometimes my brain will not allow me to get the words out.   This can be frustrating for me because people often think I am finished speaking when I pause.    At the time of the stroke, all I could think was "What's next,,,?" There was no way to know how well I would recover physically. I use no walker now. My left leg is 'draggy' but I manage . I certainly was not left with the deficits that so many stroke survivors must endure. I did lose my Father to cancer in 2001 , only 3 yrs into my vision loss.  God had more tests of will planned for me. I was just at a point of recovering from my stroke when my Mother suddenly got ill and passed away in Dec 2007. I  thought each loss was going to end me .  Surprise ! I am still here . . I am alive. For all the sorrow I have felt, for all the tears I have cried  , there are reasons. I do not know what they are but I believe there are reasons .I refer now to the Webster defined word ;LOSS. The piece of the definition, which troubles me ,is that of failure. I do NOT see loss as failure. Although my world ,has at times, felt like a crashing disaster,  I have survived, I have learned and grown within each loss . Within each tear shed. It has been a challenge a great deal of the time. I will not spew idealistic wonder that all is joyful . It is what it is. We have choice in life. We can crumble under the weight of the seemingly impossible or we can soar. I choose to attempt to soar. Just as Jonathon Livingston Seagull! Never give up. Never give in. Continue the struggle. It is all worth while. The earth is  marvelous place.When my time is done here , I hope I remember the gains in my life. Not the losses .,. No matter how difficult things may seem there is always something new just around the corner.Live and love boldly. Soar!! Focus on what can be found. Not on what is lost. Easy-NO !! Doable -YES !!  BOO -o-o-